Sunday, August 06, 2006

First post in Helsinki

Now I am just some metres away from The White Cathedral at Senaatintori, Helsinki. It is like it is taking me under its protection to make me feel better. It seems that the whole city helps me to feel better.
But today is just impossible, I feel so down that nothing can cheer me up. Today I hate life. I hope tomorrow I will love it.
My life is just a rollercoaster, always up, then down, up again, referring to my state of mind. Some days I think that everything is marvellous and that I will find my place soon, that it is a matter of a short time. But that never happens, I never reach that. I need a girl, today I need a girl specifically, I need a job I would work for free in, and a need my place. Some moments I feel so tired, of waiting to those things that never come.
I would be a dead man walking if I wouldn really enjoy some moments, like yesterday at Botta, like friday, taking pictures of the sea side here in Helsinki... I have to say thanks for that.
It is time to move to Esplanadi for a while.

Once in Espa, I have not done much, I have just sat down not even looking at the people just thinking, like I usually do, and trying to understand why things happen in my life. I have fallen asleep even, I am tired today, the night was long. Then I came here and I guess I am going home now. I don know. This is so weird, how I feel. So strange.

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