In the Matrix

Last weekend I was talking with a friend about films. I am not very very very fond of cinema or buying Dvd's or collecting special editions. I like it, more and more since I went to Norway, where it was one of our best distractions. But nothing comparable to collecting cd's, I love that. But today it was one of these days that you feel like staying at home watching a film. I felt very bad (emotionally and physically) the entire week so I decided that it would be good to stay at home today. And it was a good choice.
I have watched the game Germany-Portugal first. Nothing really special. Germany won as I expected. Then I wanted to watch "Fargo", one of my favourite films ever, but I realized that I hadn't admired "Matrix" for a long time. Yes, well, many persons like it because their fights and such stuff. I do also, but, the philosophical similarity that it has with our reality is amazing. Just judge yourself. Maybe you like it or not, maybe you find it Science fiction, but further away, I believe, first of all, that this is a philosophical film. And a harsh critic to mankind, and I love it also. We are like a virus!! It sounds disgusting maybe, but, for me, it sounds funny because I think that, in a way, it is what we are.
I like when Morfeus tells Neo something like: "Nobody has to tell you what or who you are, it doesn't have to be prove, you just have to know it yourself" (I insist in "something like that", don't take it as read). In a society like ours, where "What the rest would say" matters, and a lot, this sentece amazes me. We have just to figure out what we are, and know it, believe ourselves important, because we are. KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Goodnight, inhabitants of the Matrix.

Writings coming back

Today is has just been a really bad day. 3 nights from the last 6 I have had nightmares. Today I did not, but I had a tremendous headache when I woke up. People in general in Spain don't speak English. Maybe I have figured out what to do this summer finally and maybe work and study. it is sad to say that the best thing has been the World Cup game between Italy and Germany. I've been visiting my grandmother.
But the main subject of this post is this I have written.

Tu voz
se torna ausente
tus letras desaparecen
noto tu ausencia,
pese a que nunca has estado.
Veo tu sonrisa,
en fotos de lugares dorados.
Te echo de menos,
pese a que nunca te tuve en mis brazos.
Y aún tengo (o tenía) planes,
para una visita fugaz,
pero en la que se pare el tiempo
y ya nada importe,
nada.

Me pregunto si aún me esperas,
fumando en la noche,
si aún sueñas con mis besos,
que te harían temblar,
si aún te ríes con mis bromas,
o te las tomas a mal.
Me pregunto tantas cosas,
y no sé ninguna.
Quisiera estar en tantos sitios,
y no estoy en ninguno.
Querría hablar tantas horas contigo
que me quedaría sin voz,
y entonces,
gastaría mi vista sólo en mirarte,
mi tacto en acariciarte,
y así,
hasta quedarme sin sentido alguno.



Your voice
turns absent
your words disappear
I feel your absence,
although you have never been.
I see your smile,
in pictures of golden places.
I miss you,
although I never had you in my arms.
And i still have (or had) plans
for a brief visit,
but, in which the time stops,
and nothing else matters,
nothing.

I ask myself
if you are still waiting for me,
while you smoke in the night,
if you still dream about my kisses,
that would make you shake,
if you still laught with my jokes,
or you take them bad.
I ask myself so many things,
and I don't know any.
I would like to be in many places,
and I am not in any.
I would like to talk so many hours with you,
that I would loose my voice,
and then,
I would consume my sight only in looking at you,
my touch in caress you,
and in that way,
until I had no more senses left.

Back from Bilbao

Ayer volví de pasar 3 días en Bilbao con los Julios. Gracias desde aquí por lo BIEN que se portaron conmigo. Me hacen sentir como en casa. Pondré alguna foto en "Only Pictures" pronto. Quizás (bueno, sin el quizás) demasiada fiesta y poca visita a Bilbao, pero me tengo que buscar fines de semana en los que no haya fiestas. La proxima vez.

Yesterday I have came back after spending 3 days in Bilbao with the "Julios". Thanks a lot for how pleasant they were with me. They make feel like at home. I will post some pictures at "Only Pictures" soon . Maybe (well, without maybe) too much party and less visits to Bilbao, but I have to go another weekend withoput parties. Next time.

Today is just another day

Today the calmness and peacefulness I talked about a couple of days ago has gone, lead by the weeping of a city and a nation. I haven't felt as comfortable as other nights. Helicopters, police cars with their sirens, more people than usual. The game against France and the loss of our virginity in this Football World Cup 2006 has caused a little nightmare in Spain. I have felt that all that things have spoilt my quiet and calmness walk with my dog (that is usually only interrupted by the fear he has of other dogs). Many red T-shirts, many conversations about the game. And it is just another beautiful day. And tomorrow it will also. Nothing should change that. Our life will not change just with a game or a result. Forget about it fast and enjoy life. I want to have my calm nights again. Life is not a 90 minutes game. It is just a little longer.

Again here

It was such a long time with no new posts, I was not so inspired to do it and I have been quite busy.
I am listening to the new Sonic Youth record. It is very good, I guess. It is my first listening.
Just back from getting the dog out. I only find peacefulness, calmness, and, of course, a pleasant temperature at night in this city. The stress of a big city is suddenly gone. I like it. Only a few people walking, or enjoying Madrid's marvellous temperature at night: 24ºC. Many, many, many, cities and their inhabitants would like to have that temperature during the whole summer the day hours. Here, we have it at night. It sounds funny.
I don't know what has changed me. I like calmness and silence in my life. I believe I am asking for too much and Madrid can not pleasantly give me that pleasure. And fresh nights...not anymore. Too big city. I would like it to be half or a fourth its actual size and population. It would be great. there should be a limit, "This city is already full. Only visits." Yep, but maybe that is too radical. I guess. Let the people live where they want. And let me dream about leaving this city.

Mundos opuestos // Opposite Worlds

Esto fue escrito el pasado día 6 de junio, y ha sido traducido hoy, día 13 del mismo mes.
This was written las 6th of june, and it was translated today, 13th of the same month.

Gran diferencia
la que representa tan sólo un cristal,
una puerta cerrada,
pero aún transparente para algunos.
Dos mundos opuestos
separados sólo por centímetros,
y por libertades contrarias.

Pájaros se dejan mecer fuera en las ramas al sol,
sólo porque lo desean,
personas dentro ni siquiera se dan cuenta,
de lo que son privadas.

Días y días pasar
ninguno de ellos es diferente,
en todos esa misma espera,
esa triste calma,
donde uno a uno todos abandonan el barco,
de pena o arrastrados
por olas de olvido.

Tantos y tan bellos ojos profundos,
ojos que han visto vidas enteras,
y que ahora te miran con pena,
de verse con almas expertas,
pero cuerpos que no responden.

Ojos que recuerdan qué han sido,
cada instante incluído en sus vidas,
que se ven abocados ahora a un final poco digno,
a una sinrazón que sólo ellos no ven lógica.



Big difference
that one represented by only a glass,
a closed door, but still transparent for some.
Two opposite worlds,
only separated by centimetres
and by contrary freedoms.

Birds let themselves being rocked outside in the branches at the sun,
only because they wish it,
people inside don't even notice
of what they are deprived.

Days and days pass,
none of them are different,
all with that same wait,
that sad calmness,
where one by one all drop out of the ship,
of sorrow or swept out
by waves of oblivion.

Many and such beautiful deep eyes,
eyes that have seen entire lifes,
and that now look at you with grief,
of seeing themselves with expert souls,
but bodies that don't respond.

Eyes that remember what have them be,
every instant filmed in their lifes,
that now see themselves doomed to a non worthy end,
to an unreasonableness that only them don't see logic.

The misunderstood (persons)

It seems to be the title of a film, a sad one, I believe it could be. Every single day of our lives we meet people who, in one way or other, are different and apart of the society. And they are discriminated or treated in different ways because this conditions. It doesn't matter if it is skin colour, or religion, that is obvious, but this fact goes further on, and things less obvious, like those who think different, who have differerent ideas than the rest, those ideas that nobody understand or such conditions nobody care about. For example, where is the limit between a sect and a religion? Or why is a religion considered the evil religion for other religions, if they are all the same? They are trying to look for something they don't have with quite stupid rules sometimes, very stupid rules, I must say. Rules shouldn't exist.
Those people are just put aside of the society, the others don't even try to understand their ideas, the others just judge.
A great example of this are The elderly people. We just don't understand them, Do you know why? Because we are not old, we will only understand them, and we will become part of the Misunderstoods, when we will get older and "nobody" will understand us.
Have you ever been in a Residence for The Elderly? Sad places, like prisons, not because they were guilty of doing anything wrong against the law, just because they are not like the rest, just because they don't fit in the society anymore.
I've been visiting my grandmother today: great and modern facilities, but still, I do not get used to the fact that she is going to spend there the rest of her life...in such an isolated place, with all the sunlight and warm that it was, the surroundings looked like a plot.There are no excuses, of being between a great area of nature, or ot, it doesn't mater, it is not important, they are not going out, they are inside forever, and the feeling of having 2 little bushes inside doesn't help... Such confortable place to live, it should be, but it is like being in jail with all the confortabilities...and of course it doesn't conmpensate. I hate it.
And I have re-discovered today two things about my life:
1.- I can not stand summers in Madrid, mainly because its unbearable hot. How do I like The Sun, yes, but I just can not be under its rays in summer here.
2.-I can see that The elderly can really see my beauty, everytime I go with my grandmother everywhere, they say to her, oh, what a cute grandson you have!! I like it. It makes me smile and it makes smile her.